Note to Self

“The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.” ~Lamentations 3:22-23
The Lord is faithful even we are not. How do I know this to be true? Simple-our lack of faith does not nullify His. So I continue to praise Him for His goodness, love, mercy, favor, grace and faithfulness! Though He slay me, yet  I will trust in Him!” Job 13:15

Conqueror 

“Yet in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us.” ~Romans 8:37

Today marks the one year anniversary of my first life saving surgery. I had a total of four, but the first was the most significant. 

I was terrified as I had never had surgery before. Up until my diagnosis, I was relatively healthy. Doctors, nurses, specialists and technicians all marveled at this fact. 

The night before the operation I was filled with anxiety-not knowing if it was the last time I would ever see my two boys again. I had spent as much time as humanly possible with them. 

On the operating table I could not relax despite having already received potent anesthetics. I was wide awake and with tears rushing like rivers down my face, called out for my deceased mother. 

My surgeon came over and held my hand. I felt the healing blood of the Lord surge through me. After that, I peacefully surrendered to a drug induced coma. And by the grace of God, He saw fit to favor me. Hence I am still here one year later. 

Why, I do not know. But I do know how thankful beyond words I am. He kept me in His shadow in a most desolate time. Hallelujah! 

He Loves Me

“The wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial, and sincere” ~James 3:17, NIV

God spoke to me today via one of my church members. He knows that I have a heavy burden pressing on my heart and sent this message to comfort me. 

I felt a tap on my shoulder and turned around and received this note: 

 It reads ” For you this week “Peace Be Still.” Well, God Himself might as well have penned it! I felt so grateful and emotional. If I may be candid for a moment, I still struggle with the notion of how much God loves me. I don’t deserve it yet He is still crazy faithful and loves me with an everlasting love. 

My God. 

Father, how grateful I am that you have found me worthy of your favor, mercy, and lovingkindness.  You know everything about me-even down to the amount of hairs that I have on my head, and yet you love me anyway. I thank you Father for seeing my pain and wanting to provide comfort. I thank You for Your compassion. I thank You for this message that I know was from You. Thank you for using such a sweet lady to send it. Thank You for Your reassuring Word Abba. In the healing blood of the Lamb, Amen.