“…faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the word of God.” ~Romans 10:17
I look forward to going to church each Sunday. Come that time I’m usually thirsting for the Lord. I’m tired and overwhelmed and empty. So when Sunday rolls around, I am dehydrated and in need of a drink from the Living Water. In essence, I need a word from God.
This Sunday was no different other than being joined by my beautiful friend (if you don’t have a God worshipping friend-you better get you one, lol) or so I thought. The moment I noticed that MY pastor wasn’t there, I developed an attitude. The pastor filling in for her was one I don’t particularly care for. His preaching style is not to my liking. Something about his falsetto pitch, hyperbolic phrasing, and incoherent delivery just irritates my soul! I like things neat and tidy. I suppose I am not liberal enough for the pastor to be in the pulpit free styling on the microphone, lol.
I felt bad so I tried to suck up my disdain and pay attention. I focused on taking notes and ignoring his speaking idiosyncrasies. I was also disappointed that my friend would not be able to hear my fiery, charismatic pastor preach. I glanced over to check her countenance and she was thoroughly engaged in his message. This motivated me to hone in.
I’m glad I did as I believe that God used him to speak to me. God told me to hold on to my faith and to protect it as well. I perked up when I heard this. I knew the message was intended just for me. The night before I had struggled with a few things. I was feeling so low that I didn’t want to attend church in the morning. I didn’t see the point. I had surrendered my hope for better days. I went back and forth about canceling our church date but I didn’t want to let her down. I was secretly hoping that she would offer a reason she couldn’t make it that I would have gladly accepted. I wanted to spend time in my dark and depressing pit wallowing in self-pity singing laments of woe is me. I didn’t want to be in church dressed to the nines in the garment of praise that we are supposed to clothe ourselves with to fight off the exact spirit of heaviness I was battling. But God saw differently. He made sure I made it to church and provided the right friend to join me to make sure I didn’t miss a thing. She reminded me of two truths: that I only needed a little faith, just the size of a mustard seed and that God once used a donkey to deliver His message. I realized that I was paying too much attention to the speaker and not the message. I could feel the tears pooling in my eyes that my Lord felt me worthy enough to send a personalized message.
Even the closing prayer was for me. It addressed literally everything that I had suffered the night before. The crying. The worry. The faithlessness. The hurt. The sleeplessness. But strangely enough, I felt good and wasn’t at all tired when I woke up. This, too I believe was orchestrated by God. It is SO true that He will equip you with what you need to make it through.
After church we enjoyed brunch and stopped by the mall briefly. It was an awesome time of fellowshipping with my friend. And I got exactly what I needed, a word from the Author and Finisher of our faith.